I wanted to blog about college... i think?

mmmkay.
so. college.
the inevitable institution looming in my future.
i despise it.
no. i don't think i meant that. college is supposed to be a lovely experience... all campusy and learny and thinky and experimenty. it's the treachorous preparation that freaks me out. APs, SATs, ACTs, extracurriculars, exciting summer plans, volunteer work, GPAs, applications, essays, rejection, tuition. my mom even wants me to graduate a year early. which i am against. all my friends are against, my brother is against, and even my father is against. she's crazy. aw well.
jeezum crow, i feel so underprepared. i'm not doing anything all that exciting this summer. i mean, i'm traveling a bit, i'm volunteering a lot and i'm taking a week-long writing course. that's it. and that, my mother brought up isn't a lot. i don't feel like i need to fill that void, this'll be the first summer that i've had, not all filled up with random shit for me to do. but the other thing my mother said was that i have this summer and the next to do stuff for my applications.
isn't that so bleak?
i shouldn't do stuff because i want to, rather, i should do them because the admissions offices want me to.
now, don't get me wrong, i'm terribly greatful for this opportunity to be able to get a higher education... but really, in college i'll run into the same process, at the end, with internships and job experience and more applications... oy. i feel to young for this. really, i do.
if you haven't noticed, in these blogs i'm more just reflecting for myself... don't blame me, i'm writing fast and i have lots of stuff on my mind. i don't really talk about stuff that matters anymore.

posts to go: no idea
current music: the rainbow connection, kermit the frog
recent eats: salad with a greeky kind of dressing, noms