merf.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuurg.
my, my. I am quite sleepy... no idea why, seeing as I go to bed at like 930.
well, much has happened since i last made what few readers i have aware of my thoughts.
liam and i said i love you. am i allowed to share that here? i dunno, i guess i'll have to be, as i just typed it.... and apparently i am incapable of pressing delete. i feel really good about it, i was all like... merrrrrrrrrf, love is stupid and not real before, but now i think i was just scared somehow? i dunno, i'm happy.
anyways... i guess nothing that amusing has happened... i'm not doing much, aside from hanging out with that adorable boyfriend of mine and... oh! i'm volunteering at the corner place i adore it and despise it at the same time. the kids are so adorable, they all love be, but they're all kind of unfocused, so the adults are constantly bitching at them, it's awful, it's an environment that no one is comfortable with. and i don't know what to do. i'm caught in the middle. i hate when the adults yell, because i've so often been on the other side of the yelling, them breaking their vocal chords at me because i looked in the wrong direction for a little too long, but i also am disappointed in the kids, they want one hour of your time, please, give us that. and both the kids and adults expect different things from me, they both see me as allies. i dunno. i just can't yell at them, that not what i do.
oy, i wanna leave this nonsense, as i soon will.... this seems long overdue. though it's only to cleveland (this friday, yay) it's still... not rochester.

girls just wanna have fun....

sighs, sirs.
i'm exhausted. and all achey.
yesterday, i went outside during seventh to the pad, and had a great leap failure (mao reference for the win, i don't know why i keep using it, i'm the only one that ever finds it funny) anyway, i thought i'd try flipping. i faceplanted. i expected the pad to be bouncy, so i could get enough height to flip, so i jumped up according to my estimated height... and landed on my face. ooooows.
and then i went jumping on tefel's trampoline, it was so bad, when we were walking to his house, he yelled across a street to tell a guy he had a nice dog, and then the guy got in his car and followed us, finally stopping to yell at him, cuz he misheard him. "you got something to say!?!" i would like to say, for the record, that i executed a perfect flip there. just to spite the pad.
then, came soiree. it was lovely. andrew jones, i realized is much like john or hank green, my other heroes. i'm so excited. i love it. i adore all of them. but then i was dancing constantly for like the last twenty minutes. which made me sleepy....
anyways... oy.
then came this morning.
this post is so fail, i'm just going through events, no fun, no fun.
anyways, something of terrible proportions happened. but i shan't describe it... that'd be not good.
but oy, being a girl is tiring. makeup is gross and girl stuff is smelly, not complain or anything, oh, how i enjoyed my time, but i guess i'm just really reserved when it comes to being a girl, everyone else squeals at cute stuff or loves make up or whatever, but i just... dont? i like being quiet sometimes... i guess just hanging out with guys for most of my little people life (and a few girls that were really mean to me, i guess) made me not learn how to be normal?
well now, this isn't a speculation on my femininity, let's move on, shall we?

spring... sprang... yet now there's frozen rain?

hahahaha. oh the title of this post. you make laugh so. (it RHYMES) (i think. i don't know. i'm really tired and though i want to check to see if it actually makes sense and rhymes, i don't think i have the mental capacity. sorry guys.
and to clarify, since i live in upstate new york, spring = any temperature above 50, for any amount of time. sorta? i dunno. i like when you are warm, sir.
mmmkay. so ham jam happened. it was nice. they make me laugh, sirs.
AND JACK HAS A GIRLFRIEND, WHAT THE FUCK?!
oh, what's this?
HANNAH HAS A BOYFRIEND, WHAT THE FUCK?!
speaking of boyfriends, liam might come to church tomorrow??? AAHHHH FREAK OUT!
anyways... speaking of hannah, this past yesterday i found out that she has a WHOLE 'NOTHER ROOM TO HER HOUSE. that i didn't know about. it's like in her basement... they have a bathroom, and we had to set up the room for the german exchange student that was coming, so we walked into that bathroom, and hannah pulled back a curtain and there was like a whole other bedroom, wwwhhaaaat.
yes, so the german exchange student, came here. from germany. his name is daniel. he's pretty cool. the first thing we did was go out to eat, and, of course, wanting to show him america's fine cuisine, we brought him to a place called mike's new york diner. oh my... not that i have a problem with mike's new york diner. i had pancakes. they were delicious. but i was just thinking from daniels perspective... the plates were huge. each of my pancakes was the size of a frisbee, i had three. he said that everything in america is giant - the cars, the roads, the people... *sigh* alright...
so i think i'm done.
oh wait, liam and i decided that we're going to live in a haunted cardboard box, on top of a plastic box, in which we shall sell gloves. and to appease my mother, we're going to live in these aforementioned boxes in my room. liam will have his own special door to my house, aka, climbing in through the window so my mother won't know he's here. don't you love this kid?

a little hole, a small hole in my heart.

i can't even begin to tell you how many times i've cried or almost cried in the past week.
it's not been especially sad or anything... just... emotional a lot?
kd;fkd;afkdf;alkdfj
i don't really wanna talk about it. i just wanted to blog for once... hahaha. sorry about that. i was so proud for a while.... uhmmm.
sorry.
this isn't good.
i'll leave.